The Common Ills
Saturday, June 27, 2026
Did he disappear for a McDonald's original fried Apple Pie?
BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIG MIX & THOMAS FRIEDMAN IS A GREAT MAN & ANN'S MEGA DUB & THE WORLD TODAY JUST NUTS & THE COMMON ILLS -- THE KOOL AID TABLE
THE HEAD OF FEMA'S OFFICE OF RESPONSE AND RECOVERY IS MISSING!
INSIDERS TELL THESE REPORTERS -- MUST CREDIT BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIG MIX & THOMAS FRIEDMAN IS A GREAT MAN & ANN'S MEGA DUB & THE WORLD TODAY JUST NUTS & THE COMMON ILLS -- THAT GREGG PHILLIPS HAS BEEN OUT FOR DAYS.
DHS IS TELLING REPORTERS THAT PHILLIPS IS ONLY "TAKING LEAVE FOR PERSONAL REASONS" WHILE OTHERS ARE SAYING HE WAS FIRED.
WE THINK THERE'S ANOTHER EXPLANATION: PHILLIPS NEEDED MCDONALD'S.
BEAR WITH US. PHILLIPS HAS A HUGE HANKERING FOR FRANCHISE EATINGS AND MCDONALD'S HAS JUST BROUGHT BACK THEIR ORIGINAL FRIED APPLE PIE. WHAT IF, HE WENT TO MCDONALD'S?
B-B-BUT TO BE GONE FOR DAYS, YOU ASK?
REMEMBER WHAT HE REVEALED:
I was with my boys one time and I was telling them I was gonna go to Waffle House and get Waffle House. And I ended up at a Waffle House – this was in Georgia and I end up at a Waffle House like 50 miles away from where I was. And they said, “where are you?” and I said, “A Waffle House.” And “a Waffle House where?” And I said, “Waffle House in Rome, Georgia.” And they said, “That’s not possible, you just left here a moment ago.” But it was possible. It was real…
Teleporting is no fun. It’s no fun because you don’t really know what you’re doing. You don’t really understand it, it’s scary, but yet – but so real.
THAT'S RIGHT. WHAT IF GREGG PHILLIPS -- GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEE AND SELF-NOTED TELEPORTER -- TELEPORTED TO A MCDONALD'S TO GET A FRIED PIE AND NOW IS STUCK THERE BECAUSE HE IS UNABLE TO TELEPORT BACK HOME. AS HE ADMITTED HE "DOESN'T REALLY KNOW WHAT [I] AM DOING" AND HE DOESNT "REALLY UNDERSTAND IT."
THESE REPORTERS -- MUST CREDIT BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIG MIX & THOMAS FRIEDMAN IS A GREAT MAN & ANN'S MEGA DUB & THE WORLD TODAY JUST NUTS & THE COMMON ILLS -- ARE DEMANDING THAT THE JUSTICE DEPARTMENT OPEN A NATION WIDE SEARCH OF MCDONALD'S TO LOCATE GREGG PHILLIPS. IT MUST TAKE PLACE IMMEDIATELY. WHAT IF, IN TRANSPORTING, HE ENDED UP LANDING RIGHT UNDER THE MCFLURRY MACHINE?
President Trump, facing a backlash from supporters of Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. for allying himself with the chemical industry, issued an executive order on Thursday aimed at reducing pesticides in the food supply and studying the health risks they pose.
The order does not involve new federal funding, and does not call for new regulations or legislation. Critics contended that it did little to meaningfully address the consequences of pesticide use. Two White House officials, speaking anonymously to preview the order before it was announced, said it was timed to coincide with a dinner Mr. Trump was hosting for farmers.
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