Joel Wing. Ay-yi-yi.
Try to be nice . . .
At AK News he wants to dispute the Fund For Peace's scoring of Iraq on the list of failed states and he's such a little baby cum pants that it's enough to make your head explode. Reading his stupidity is like, three months after an American Idol season completes, reading a 15 page critique of how Randy and company scored the contestants wrong and there must be an AT&T conspiracy keeping viewers from voting.
Actually, it's much worse than that. Because what's he's doing is like going back to the season Kelly Clarkson won and offering minute criticism on each season.
Has Iraq improved?
No, it hasn't. I know that's hard for the likes of Joel Wing to admit. But it hasn't. And when he insists that something stayed the same -- we're not picking his nits for him -- so that shouldn't have resulted in a lower score, actually it should.
If you know there are not, for example, enough generators in 2010 and 2011 rolls around and the problem's still the same, that is worsening because you've had awareness of the problem for over a year.
This is not "2+2=4." We're not talking simple arithmetic. This is complex analyzing, comparison and contrast, evaluating, etc.
On the security issues, he 'forgets' that Nouri's refused to nominate anyone to head the security ministries. Now in surveying 2010, that would be a bad thing. But not as bad as today. That's because he was only given the power to nominate (made prime minister-designate) in November of 2010. So for 2010, this is bad but not as bad as going through all of 2011 without nominating.
That's the problem with a baby cum pants, they sit around jerking off in their diapers and their 'facts' are about as firm as as their stubby penises -- which is to say, not at all.
Iraq is a failed state. It has been that for some time. There is nothing at present to change that determination and certainly, for 2011, there was nothing to change that finding. You really have to wonder about people like Joel Wing. Do they even know what a failed state is?
And does he grasp that if he wants to take on the list, he has to take on the list. Meaning, it wouldn't be enough for him to whine about Iraq's score, he'd have to research the whole damn list. And that's why it's safe to see him as a Nouri apologists, a State of Law lobbyist and not some obsessive-compulsive. Someone suffering from O.C. would have already gone about taking ont the whole list and its classification for every nation. But Joel Wing doesn't do that. He just wants to whine about Iraq. And every whine is "It's not that bad!"
So we're left with Nouri apologist and State of Law lobbyist.
At his most embarrassing, he allows that unemployment in Iraq may be at 30% but, he wants to assert, it's been that way for some time. So it's just "bad" not worse.
Really? So, by Baby Cum Pants rule of thumb, if you have one year of unemployment at 30% or six years of unemployment at 30% it doesn't matter.
I'd love to see Baby Cum Pants make that argument to a country. I have a feeling that any group of people would tell you that one year of 30% unemployment in their country (regardless of which country) is bad, but five years of 30% unemployment is not just worse, it is unbearable.
And that's what Baby Cump Pants can't grasp and that's why he's not an expert. Baby Cum Pants is very good at pointing, he's just lacks the ability to analyze. It's the difference between a simple computer doing calculations in binary code or artificial intelligence.
Or, to drop back to Shakespeare, "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy" (Hamlet, Act I, Scene V).
It's over, I'm done writing songs about love
There's a war going on
So I'm holding my gun with a strap and a glove
And I'm writing a song about war
And it goes
Na na na na na na na
I hate the war
Na na na na na na na
I hate the war
Na na na na na na na
I hate the war
Oh oh oh oh
-- "I Hate The War" (written by Greg Goldberg, on The Ballet's Mattachine!)
The number of US service members the Dept of Defense states died in the Iraq War is [PDF format warning] 4488.
And, for Lewis who still better be reading this far, yesterday, I noted: "Then you have the May auction which --with a nod to a friend who's a
brilliant comedy writer -- I repeatedly hailed as 'a dingo dog with
fleas;." Lewis e-mailed Beth (ombudsperson for this site) and asked her to ask me for "the dingo dog with fleas" story. That didn't come up while dictating. That refers to when we sent to a preview of a film. A friend (actress) had made a very big splash in films ("splash" wasn't a hint to this blind item) as a supporting actress and she had just done her first real lead role. She felt the film was going to be a dud -- she was right -- and wanted to know how bad she was in it. (To this day, she's never seen the film. This is back in the nineties, by the way. She's seen parts of it on TV.)
Making the film was a nightmare. The male lead -- the actual lead, she was playing "the girl," was and is an asshole. Today, he wouldn't make homophobic remarks because he'd realize that even Mel Gibson can no longer get away with those. But back then, he made them all the time. I can't remember if he was married then or just engaged but he was a closet case.
She knew the love scene would be a pain in the ass because of how he was acting and she asked three of us to visit the set that day for support. So when he proceeded to be rude to her during the filming of the love scene (he was trashing her looks when he was whispering in her ear) and the director finally called a break (I believe after the 17th take), she was furious.
There were a number of suggestions including eating onions but I felt mine would work best (and it did work). I said, "When he leans in to whisper in your ear, you whisper ____ ____ in his ear. That's the name of the boyfriend he just bought the condo for over on La Brea." She did and he jerked back in shock but didn't attempt to whisper ugly things in her ear and he never again attempted to give her direction -- hello, she was and remains the only one in the cast who was ever nominated for a respectable award -- or try to humiliate her in some other way in front of the entire crew.
So she made it through the film and her agent and her manager were swearing the film would be a hit and she'd be fine. The film was not a hit. To put it mildly. One of the great bombs of its year.
But we went to an unannounced preview -- my comedy writer friend and I -- because she wanted to know how bad it was. It was so bad that within six minutes, the audience was talking back to the screen. By mid-point, some man somewhere in the theater yelled that the film was a dog leading my friend to yell, "It's a dingo dog!" 1st man: "I said it's a dog!" My friend: "It's a dingo dog!" New voice, "It's a dog, a dog, it's a dingo dog . . . with fleas!" And then people started chanting that.
That's how bad the movie was.
It bombed big time, it truly was "a dog, a dog, a dingo dog with fleas!" But my friend the actress looked wonderful and didn't embarrass herself on the screen -- Roger Ebert would offer, when the film was released, that she was the only reason to see the movie. She has a very nice career today. He's back where he started (on the small screen) and no one really gives a damn about him and any interest in the show stems from the other cast members of the show.
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i hate the war