Wednesday, November 20, 2013

The One Where Barack is Ross Geller

One of Cedric and Wally's readers sent them a passage by conservative Ed Lasky (the link goes to The Jewish Press, the piece originally appeared at American Thinker).  They tried to work it into their joint posts but were unable to.  I told them I'd do something on it here.

Ed Lasky?

I don't know him or of him.  But I will offer a little advice here.

His musty Hogan's Heroes cultural reference?  It's not going to attract many people under the age of 60.  It's also not going to attract many women to the piece.  We tend to not be amused by sitcoms (or the film with Burt Lancaster) that find hi jinx in Nazi concentration camps and we're really not attracted to Nazis, let alone fat ass ones like Schultz.

The more appropriate pop culture reference?  Ross Geller.

In the above clip, the cast is:  Jennifer Aniston (Rachel Green), Courteney Cox (Monica Geller), Lisa Kudrow (Phoebe Buffay), Matt LeBlanc (Joey Tribbiani), Matthew Perry (Chandler Bing),  David Schwimmer (Ross Geller), Elliott Gould (Jack Geller) and  Christina Pickles (Judy Geller).  For those who've never seen the show, Elliott Gould and Christina Pickles play the parents of Courtney Cox and David Schwimmer's characters Monica and Ross.

That's from the sixth season of Friends, the Thanksgiving episode (November 25, 1999) entitled "The One Where Ross Got High," written by Gregory S. Malins.

For those who can't stream or need closed captioning, here's a quick transcript of the above clip.

Ross: Oh yeah, about telling Mom and Dad, I was thinking about maybe writing a letter.

Monica: Alright, you know what? That's it. You've had your chance.

Ross: Wha-what?

Monica: Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college!

Judy & Jack: What!

Ross:  You are such a tattletale!  Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?

Judy & Jack: Yes.

Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. I'm sorry.

Judy: It was you?

Monica: And Dad, you know that mailman that you got fired? He didn't steal your Playboys! Ross did!

Ross: Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didn't break the porch swing, Monica did!

Monica: Ross hasn't worked at the museum for a year!

Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!

Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!

Phoebe: I love Jacques Cousteau!

Rachel looks at a recipe.

Rachel:  I wasn't supposed to put beef in the trifle!

Joey:  I wanna' go!

Judy:  That’s a lot of information to get in in thirty seconds.  Alright, Joey, if want to leave, just leave. Rachel, no you weren't supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, I'm sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.

Jack: And we kinda figured about the porch swing. 

Judy: Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?

Jack: What happened son?

 Ross: I-I, uh, I got tricked into all those things!

Judy:  Chandler,  you've been Ross's best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems.  And now you've taken on Monica as well. Well, I don’t know what to say. You're a wonderful human being.

Chandler: Thank you!

Jack: No! Thank you! Monica and Ross, I don't know what I'm gonna' do about the two of you.

Chandler:  I’ll talk to them.

"I got tricked into all those things!"

That was the sort of pop culture reference Ed Lasky should have gone with.

Here's what Lasky wrote:

Barack Obama and those who serve at his whim have declared that he knew nothing about the IRS witch-hunt of Republicans, spying by the NSA on Americans and foreign leaders, Fast and Furious, ObamaCare website problems, that he actually set red lines regarding Syria (though he denied it later), security problems at the Benghazi consulate, and spying on the Associated Press. When asked, Obama has asserted that he learned about all these problems only after reading about them in the media. Who knew our presidents would model themselves after Sergeant Schultz on the old Hogan Heroes television series (Obama has admitted he watched a lot of television when he was younger — and some with reason believe he still does).

Again, Hogan's Heroes?  Not really getting the point across and not really an appetizing show for most Americans -- especially women.

Cedric and Wally have been stuck for over thirty minutes trying to work that passage into their joint-post somehow because they do enjoy the passage and it was suggested by one of their regular readers. To speed the process along (they always try their posts out on me before they post), I said I'd grab the Lasky passage and figure out a way to highlight it.

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