Doing a community note because, if I don't, it will be brought up at The Third Estate Sunday Review. We've got enough to work on.
In media news, as independent media continues to be under attack, News Dissector Danny Schechter's "Special Blog: Can Our Media Channel Survive?" announces the potential fate of
Mediachannel.org which may shut down: "If we can get 1500 of our readers (that means you) to give $25, we can keep going for another quarter. [PLEASE CLICK HERE TO MAKE A TAX-DEDUCTIBLE DONATION ONLINE]"
If you're able to give and would like to, please do.
That news was first noted Thursday morning. It really screwed up my morning. One reason because one of the walls I've put up to avoid burning out is letting Elaine sign off on my own donations. She made strong points for that (including having given it all away during Vietnam).
(She wrote about this here.) She said, when I agreed, she wasn't doing it to waste her time and couldn't stop anything I wanted to do, but if I wasn't going to listen, there was no point. I'm already giving to several things and she (based on earlier experiences) said forget media.
So I knew what the response was going to be. Reading the e-mail Thursday morning by a member (and I have no idea who highlighted it, look for the post), I was just in shock. Jess knocked at my hotel room door and I said I'd be done posting in a second but I wasn't. When Jess knocked again, I still wasn't dressed. (I'm not a "pajama bloggers." First off, this isn't a "blog." Second of all, I get up and work out before I work on entries. I turn on the computer as I hit the shower. Come back, in a towel, and start working on the entries.)
I hurried to get dressed because we had an early campus thing. On the way, I realized I'd forgotten several items (including under clothing). And Jess kept looking over on the ride to the first campus before I finally grabbed a clue and grabbed a mirror. My hair was a homage to Della Reese and her piggy back wig look pioneered in Touched By Angel. The top was going in one direction and the sides in two other directions. I fixed it quickly. (Ava laughed at the story and said Jess once avoided telling her until right before they walked into a room that the seam in the back of her dress had split. His reason for waiting so long? He didn't want to embarrass her in case that was a look she was going for.) (To clarify, my hair is my own. Even if the color isn't.)
But I avoided calling Elaine because, as she reminded when I called her Friday, "I said this was going to happen." I've put everything on hold since February 2003. I'm not poor and can afford not to work. I've got money coming in from investments. And I've got a lot of money going out (traveling to campuses, donating to causes, etc.) . But I went through this during Vietnam and ended up broke. I don't regret that overall because the money went to good causes but I'm not as young as I was then (as Elaine points out repeatedly) and "luck runs out at some point." I knew the point she would make over the phone because she made it not all that long ago and repeated it during Vietnam which was basically that media should rise or fall on its own. There are individuals in need and she's all for that but she is really not a friend of media.
She was right about walls needing to go up and she's right that when you're constantly touching capitol and not just living off investments, you're begging for trouble. So . . .
I made myself sick about this. I woke up this morning and didn't even want to see the New York Times. When we (Jess and I) got back late yesterday, I went right to bed. (I also got caught in a downpour two weeks ago and cannot shake the cold I've had ever since.) My stomach was killing me this morning and I finally took a pill Jim was trying to pass off on me (over the counter, I have no idea what it's for) and went back to sleep. (Famotidine Tablet. That's what the now empty metal package says. It's an acid reducer.)
I got up at ten to listen to the special:
In other news, Saturday from 10:00 am until noon (PST), KPFA will broadcast a Pacifica Radio and Free Speech Radio News special hosted by Sonali Kolhatkar (host of KPFK's
Uprising) and Dalia Hashad (attorney, the USA program director for Amnesty International and one of the co-hosts of WBAI's Law and Disorder). The special will address the new Senate bill on immigration which is due to be voted on shortly and "present challenging interviews with lawmakers, and look at global dynamics that lead to migration and Europe's own crackdown on immigration."
Then Ava and I worked on our write up of it for Hilda's Mix. (The special is archived and you can listen to it using the links. Among others, Deepa Fernandes is on it.)
By then, I was in "letting go" mode. If you've got the money to give to MediaChannel and you'd like to, please do. As Elaine pointed out, that's the only thing that will keep it alive and growing, not one person rushing to the rescue.
The other thing, unrelated to MediaChannel, was "try to do somebody a ___ damn favor." Rebecca tells that story, which I don't remember, about our time in college. We let someone stay over on our couch one time who was just a pain in the ass. At three in the morning, she went to all of our bedroom doors knocking and woke us up. For what? I don't know. But supposedly that was my reply as I exited my room (Rebecca says that's what I said).
That's really how I'm feeling towards someone I don't know but attempted to help (and did) only to get slammed for it. (To Ava. Bad enough to slam me, but to slam me in an e-mail to Ava is really stupid.) I don't know the person (or of them -- I never heard of them before I was asked for the favor), I helped out the person and that apparently wasn't enough. I was supposed to, apparently, help out and praise this person (whom I don't know). I was supposed to sing the praises of this person of this unknown person, help advance their career apparently, just because I was asked. Did I do everything I was originally asked? Yes. But I didn't sing the praises. I wasn't asked to. Not that I would have if I'd been asked but how about slamming me for what I do and not for what I was never asked to do?
That really did and does piss me off. And Betty, who had been on board to help out as well, had the e-mail read to her by Ava and said, "Forget it. ___ is the most ungrateful person in the world." Which is why Trina also took a pass. Those who didn't take a pass said it was the last thing they'd ever do for this person (whom none of us know).
For the record, just FYI, if you ask for a favor and you get it and then you're about to get even more, don't trash the person helping you in the middle of it. Just say "thank you."
Don't say "Thank you and now let me complain that C.I. didn't sing my praises and how hurtful that was." The help has stopped as a result and I've kept my own word but I'm done with you.
I finished up with my second promise and I'm now done. (This does apply to TCI and members will know what it's about because Mike writes about it for Polly's Brew tomorrow, if any members in the dark. Most aren't. Most have already e-mailed because they noticed it.)
So that had to be finished today, the second part of the favor. And keeping my word to someone (that I don't know and had never heard of) who has trashed me was enough to make me want to go back to bed this morning. If it hadn't been for the special, I'd still be asleep probably. (The pill did stop the stomach pain.) But the end result of all this is people asking for help can pretty much forget it. If I don't know you or know of you, don't even ask. To be trashed like that when I put myself on the line for a stranger was my last straw. And if the person sees this and is bothered by it, consider yourself lucky because only by noting this here will Jim agree not to bring it up (in detail -- not abstract talk) at The Third Estate Sunday Review.
Kat. I was supposed to post her latest review either Thursday or Friday. (It was actually supposed to go up Monday.) I completely forgot. The last few days have been a haze. After this goes up, Kat goes up and I'll be working on regular entry and not a community post. My apologies to everyone except Kat who says it's no big deal "and shut up already." I also need to call Betty back (I was asleep when she called to read her latest chapter over the phone.)
Totally unrelated, but if I hadn't spent the last few days in a fog, I would have already noted Rebecca's "5 men on the court think they know best ... about women " from Wednesday night. Please read that.
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