Sunday, December 19, 2004

When Bully Boy Met Kerik . . .

Elisabeth Bumiller's "In Kerik, Bush Saw Values Crucial to Post-9/11 World" ( appears in today's New York Times and begins:

President Bush first met Bernard B. Kerik near the smoking ruins of the World Trade Center on Sept. 14, 2001, a day that instantly changed Mr. Bush's relationship with a city he had never much liked.

Erika: "Get it? They met 'cute.' It's a romantic comedy and statements about how Bush 'loves cops' and how cops 'don't get paid a lot of money' -- well not if Bush can help it! It had me rolling in the aisles! Nora Eprhon, watch your back, Lizzie's headed to Hollywood!"

Brad: "So after Bush finished his mad dash, Bunny Fu Fu like hop around the country on 9-11 and finally got the guts to go NYC two days later, he's blown away by the 'manly' Kerik? Well they say we're attracted to characteristics we don't possess so . . ."

Kara: "Notice how Bumillie provides tension: 'Mr. Bush often saw Mr. Keric with former Mayor Rudolph Giuliani.' It's so sexual. Will the lovers converge? Will they 'seal the deal?' It's heartbreaking. Bumillie's got to be up for a Pulitzer for this one!"

Carl: "It's a mutual love-fest. Kerik praised Bush in public, Bully Boy praised Kerik. If it's not Liz Taylor and Dick Burton, it's certainly up there with J-Lo and Ben! One of the great romances of our time told by the only 'reporter' who has built her career on total fluff."

Maria: "Did Bumiller choke with laughter when one of her many anonymous sources used the word 'credible' to describe Kerik?"

Toby: "My favorite part is how Bumiller's anonymous sources won't say how often Kerik and Bully Boy met but that 'neither man seems to have forgotten the emotions of that day.' This reads like one of those Hollywood gossip rags. Bumiller's parents must be so proud of her."

Erika (again): "Get it, they come from different worlds! Ivy league Bush and the son of a prostitute. They're star crossed lovers in this purple prose passing for print journalism."

Frank in Orlando: "This is so bad it's embarrassing to read. Bumiller turns in a long article and never once addresses the issue of Kerik's affairs, his arrest warrent, his speedy departure from Iraq, nothing. I usually defend her but there's no defense for this."

Abhilasha: "Spurned love Giuliani pronounces Bush & Kerik's relationship 'good' and weeps, 'I don't know how it happened.' How many jilted lovers haven't wondered that?"

Jim: "This is pure and utter ____. Does anyone read Bumiller's writing before it goes to print?
This woman may have a desire to embarrass herself but why the Times chooses to participate in it is beyond me."

Trina: "Was anyone else bothered by the fact that only Giuliani is an on the record source? We're not talking national secrets here, there's no reason Bumiller couldn't have pressed her sources to go on the record. The thing reads like whispers and wails from some 'women who love too much' support group."

Aidan: "I refuse to take a word Elisabeth Bumiller writes seriously until she starts taking her job seriously. Even the alleged nanny excuse is repeated. It's as though Bumiller's missed every development on this story including the ones that her own paper finally got around to printing.
Does the rag run these pieces because they're hoping ol' Bully Boy himself will be impressed with their 'fairness?' Or are they just too distracted at the paper to do anything remotely resembling real journalism?"

Erika (again): "I could get upset by this flimsy valentine passing for news but instead I choose to see it as a pitch for a daring new romantic comedy: When Bully Boy Met Kerik . . . I see
Wilford Brimley in the Bush role and Nick Lachey as Kerik. Now I know someone will question that choice but this is the movies and we don't often get a bald man in a leading role. Bumiller has to know that's a stumbling block on her road to wealth and semi-fame. I'm sure she'd be willing to go with a studio that pushed Lachey for the role. Probably only someone as supremely untalented as Lachey could do 'justice' to Bumiller's writing. If not him, maybe that Ty guy on Trading Spaces [Ty Pennington] because a construction worker would work even better!"

Fight for Peace wonders: "Is Elisabeth Bumiller even a real person? Has anyone ever seen her? I think this has to be a put on by the paper. No one could write so badly and maintain a job at a paper. At any paper."

Fight for Peace, a year ago, I saw Bumiller on Washington Week. Or at least someone claiming to be Bumiller.

[Note: This post has been edited. "Ivey" league has been changed to "Ivy" league. That was my typo not Erika's. She spelled it correctly in her e-mail, I'm the idiot who got it wrong in typing.]