Saturday, November 07, 2015

a dull, uptight bitch named j. randy (book review of his beyonce book)

rebecca here again.

book reviews? the community loves them.

here's my post on an awful new book - please avoid it unless you pick it up at the library so that all you end up losing is your own time!

a dull, uptight bitch named j. randy

i'm not a beyonce fan (or enemy) but i'm a fan of a good trashy page turner.

so when i saw 'becoming beyonce: the untold story,' i thought i'd struck bad bio gold.

i even expected j. randy taraborrelli to come back to life.

instead he's written what may be his all time worst book.

j. randy wrote a good book about cher.

then he wrote 'call her miss ross' about diana ross and that's a classic.

this despite the fact that he loses energy and steam right when he gets to the end of the 70s.

it's diana at 1 of her most creative time periods - 'the boss' album which is still amazing followed by 'diana' with her huge hit 'i'm coming out' and her even bigger, number 1 hit 'upside down.'  she follows that with two movie themes - 'it's my turn' which is amazing and a big hit and then 'endless love' (with lionel richie) which is even more amazing and a monster number 1 hit.  she moves on to top ten hits with 'why do fools fall in love' and 'mirror, mirror' (one of my personal favorites).

that's quite a run and she's still got 'muscles,' 'swept away,' 'missing you' and 'all of you' (duet with julio iglesias) - all hits.

but j randy long ago grew bored.

he rallied with a book on michael jackson which he shamelessly re-wrote after michael died to cash in - and retracted all the hard hitting stories he had originally written.

then it was on to bad books about frank sinatra and marilyn monroe.

he seemed to be striving for some form of trash respectability.

'becoming beyonce' is boring.

and insulting.

he is especially stupid with regards to stevie nicks' 'edge of 17' which is sampled in 'bootylicious.'

he really is a moron.

and it takes a real moron to write about beyonce and end up with a boring book.

you can love her or hate her or be indifferent but her life has everything to make for a great bio.

j. randy can't even create a mildly amusing 1.

beyonce should sue - not because he tells secrets but because he makes her life seem so damn boring.

let's close with c.i.'s 'Iraq snapshot:'