BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIG MIX & THOMAS FRIEDMAN IS A GREAT MAN & ANN'S MEGA DUB & THE WORLD TODAY JUST NUTS & THE COMMON ILLS -- THE KOOL AID TABLE
1990S PROFESSIONAL MODEL STACEY WILLIAMS CAME FORWARD TODAY TO ANNOUNCE CONVICTED FELON DONALD TRUMP ASSUALTED HER IN 1992. THESE REPORTERS -- MUST CREDIT BULLY BOY PRESS & CEDRIC'S BIG MIX & THOMAS FRIEDMAN IS A GREAT MAN & ANN'S MEGA DUB & THE WORLD TODAY JUST NUTS & THE COMMON ILLS -- CORNERED TRUMP IN THE MEN'S ROOM AT MUNCH A LUNCH IN TEMPE ARIZONA.
THE FELON HAD ORDERED THE CHILI SOUP WITH EXTRA ONIONS AND EXTRA CHEESE DESPITE THE FACT THAT ONIONS GIVE HIM THE RUNS AND DESPITE THE FACT THAT HE KNOWS ONIONS GIVE HIM THE RUNS.
BRAVING THE WORST ODOR WE'D EVER SMELT IN OUR LIVES, WE INTERROGATED HIM WHILE HE SAT HIDDEN BEHIND A STALL DOOR MOANING, GROANING AND GRUNTING.
WHAT DID YOU DO TO STACY WILLIAMS?
"WHO!" HE HOLLERED.
WE EXPLAINED WHO WHILE HE CONTINUED GRUNTING BETWEEN THE SOUNDS OF SQUIRTY LIQUID HITTING THE TOILET.
"LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE! WHY DID I EAT THE ONIONS! THIS ISN'T A CRAP! IT'S A BIRTH! GET ME A MID-WIFE!"
AS HE STRUGGLED TO BREATHE THROUGHT PAIN, THE FELON TOLD US THAT HE DIDN'T REMEMBER HER OR MOST OF THE WOMEN HE ASSAULTED AND THAT IT DIDN'T MATTER ANYWAY.
WHY IS THAT? -- WE ASKED HIM.
"OW! OW! MY CHILI HOLE! STUFF IS STILL COMING OUT AND IT BURNS! IT BURNS! MOMMY! MOMMY! IT BURNS!" GET ME A DOCTOR! GO FIND THE SECRET SERVICE AND TELL THEM TO GET ME A DOCTOR!"
WHY DOESN'T IT MATTER -- WE PRESSED.
"GET ME A DOCTOR!"
ANSWER THE QUESTION -- WE DEMANDED.
"BECAUSE -- OW! -- BECAUSE I CAN'T ASSAULT ANY WOMAN ANYMORE! IT'S NOT JUST THAT MY BIG GUT MEANS I CAN'T SEE MY TINY DICK! OW! OW! IT'S ALSO BECAUSE -- OW! I CAN'T GET IT UP ANYMORE!"
WHAT?
"OW! I CAN'T GET A BONER! I'M 78 YEARS OLD! IT SHOULDN'T BE THAT SURPRISING! I'M AN ELDERLY FAT GUTTED MAN! OW! GET ME A DOCTOR! GET ME A DOCTOR!"
PROMISING TO GET RIGHT ON THAT, WE LAUGHED AS WE WALKED OUT OF THE BATHROOM AND LEFT AN OUT-OF-ORDER SIGN ON THE DOOR.
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