Transcription of Senator Dum Butt's remarks:
Uh, my fellow ... elected people. He-he-he. I just want to voice my objections to that woman Boxer. Now I never was too fond of women in sports and boxing's a man's sport so let me just get that into the record. But today, I'm just spitting mad over that Boxer woman. I've been sputtering and spitting and spitting and sputtering and just well everything.
Cause now that Boxer woman pretends to be just like you and me and America, you know? But I stand before you today to say that Boxer woman is not who she appears. No! Let the record show that woman is treasoner or treasonist or whatever you call them people who do the those weird things. I have proof, actual proof, and this includes that lefty rag the New York Times, that that Boxer woman went and seen Michah Moore's Fahrenheit: 9-11. Yes, it is shocking! Shocking!
Shocking! Shock and awe-ing! She's one of them Hollywooders, you see. And being from California, we all should have known it. Should have known it! Hollywood started this conspiracy that there were voting problems. Heck, they put it on Will & Grace and all them other gay shows like that Seven Heaven. Seven Heaven! There is one heaven and only one heaven. But Hollywood wants you to think there are seven! So that you think there are seven gods and all equal: Jesus, . . . Buddah, . . . Allah McGraw and Barbra Streisand! Those seven are not gods. There is only one god, and you know that even though Hollywood tells you different.
Hollywood has seeped into that woman's mind!
America and Americans, you know Hollywood is full of sinners and . . . sinners. Can't trust a one of them. Why if it weren't for Hollywood, that Arnold Schwarzenegger would be just another aged jock with man boobs! But Hollywood, liberal Hollywood, takes a commie like Arn --
Huh?
[aide whispers in Senator Dumb Butt's ear]
Uh . . .
Hollywood, liberal Hollywood, is out to destroy your family! With TV shows that destroy the family! Liberal TV shows from Hollywood like Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire about money grubbing women throwing themselves at a man! Or Temptation Island, a show about cheating!
Or Who's Your Daddy? about a woman that didn't know who her father was! How do you think that happens, huh? Them liberals want to destroy you and your family. And Fox TV is the worst liberal of them all and Rupert Murdoch wasn't even in born in this country, he is a foreig--
Huh?
[aide whispers in Senator Dumb Butt's ear]
Him too?
Uh, Hollywood, liberal Hollywood, Hollyweird, like that sugar britches who makes Richard Simmons seem like John Wayne, Kelsey Grammer! Flouncing around on that Fraiser acting effete and feminine, I tell you it's an abomination! Abom-- Huh?
[aide whispers in Senator Dumb Butt's ear]
Really?
Uh, Hollywood liberals like that foul mouthed Dennis Miller who's not funny. He's filthy.
And his career has gone the way of -- Huh?
[aide whispers in Senator Dumb Butt's ear]
Do we really need him?
[aide whispers in Senator Dumb Butt's ear]
Well, there's . . . Them Hollywood liberals!
Hollywood liberals! Like that woman I see on my TV hawking every product but a bra, Patricia Heaton! She's not even pretty. And what is with that hair color? God didn't make that hair color, so don't be blaming him. What is that color? Purple! Lumbering around, hectoring that husband, hen pecking him like a woman who doesn't know the good book's message, Patricia Heaton is a jeza- What!
[aide whispers in Senator Dumb Butt's ear]
Golly. . . .
Liberal Hollywood destroying you and your family with the . . . the devil music.
Yes, the devil music. Like that Kid Rock who -- Huh?
[aide whispers in Senator Dumb Butt's ear]
There going let him curse like that at the inaugaration?
[aide whispers in Senator Dumb Butt's ear]
Well then what's he going to sing? "I Am the Bullgod!" "Early Mornin' Pimp!" "Wax the Booty!"
[aide whispers in Senator Dumb Butt's ear]
Fine.
Uh, liberal Hollywood which, uh, spits on your traditional values. Like . . . like that woman who made all that pornography with her husband, Bo Derek! Bo? No, B.O! And her lusty movies stink so good America says N.O. to B.O. and --
[aide whispers to Senator Dumb Butt]
Really?
Uh . . . I have proven my point! Hollywood is nothing but commies who want to destroy you and your family and your country! And that Boxer woman is a dupe! She has fallen for those Hollywood conspiracies. Unlike that Boxer woman, I stand for America! The America that's not afraid to bully and be uninformed and don't let no words of reality stop me from staying the course. The America that's not afraid to tell it like it is even if facts don't support us cause we go by the guts!
[Note: Post corrected. Fraiser italicized, "my" changed to "me." As always, thank you Shirley for catching those.]
