Saturday, December 24, 2022

Cringey + Funny True Stories of Christmas: OZY's 100

OZY    A Modern Media CompanyShare This Sh*t          December 20, 2022
The drop

CRINGEY + FUNNY TRUE STORIES OF CHRISTMAS: OZY'S 100

We revisit some of OZY’s most entertaining holiday tales, from outlandish true stories to provocative opinions.

 

True Stories That Will Make You Laugh and Cringe

Great Christmas Expectations

Sometimes the holidays are as hard as marriage, and your first Christmas as a married couple can be an ordeal of its own. First Married Christmas isn’t really any sort of benchmark, but it carries a certain weight. So what happens when your eager-to-please husband buys you a big surprise gift that requires an unveiling … and it’s a giant disappointment?

Christmas Haggling in Thailand

More than 60 million Chinese live in the global diaspora, having fled bandits, floods and famine to find a better life abroad. And their influence is pervasive. But if you are Chinese American and finishing your holiday shopping in Thailand, don’t expect the Chinese vendors to cut you any true deals because of your heritage — they are wily negotiators even during the holidays.

How Was Your Day, Mall Santa?

In this occasional series, OZY takes to streets and neighborhoods across the globe to ask a simple question: “How was your day?” In this edition, meet Kriss Kringle aka Santa Claus aka Tom Ryan, a mall Santa at an outdoor shopping mall in Duluth, Georgia, who describes what a day in his life is really like, from the endless photographs and children to the dressing room to the 119-year-old authentic sleigh at his disposal.

Holiday Perspectives

 

Ditching the Christmas Shame

What happens if you are an urban sophisticate, a feminist who thinks capitalism sucks. But each winter, when the air turns cold, the urge hits: You want a Christmas tree, and kitschy yet clever ornaments to dangle from its branches, and lots of holiday crafts involving red and green pipe cleaners and old paper-towel rolls. These urges feel shameful, but sometimes you have to give up the cynical, if principled, cool and give in to the gooey sentimentality. ’Tis the season!

The ‘Thought’ Doesn’t Count One Bit

“It’s the thought that counts” gives cover to all sorts of lousy presents. Even when intentions are good, we’re often pretty far off the mark. The flaw: People focus way too much on what gifts they would like, rather than what gifts the recipients would like. And whatever they get, recipients are guilt-tripped into expressing gratitude. So what to do? It starts by putting your money where your mouth is.

How the Corporate Rules Grinch Stole Christmas

Christmas may be the “most wonderful time of the year,” but when it comes to corporate gifts, it is not the season it once was. Anti-bribery regulations and strained corporate budgets mean that employers now advise much more caution with sending Christmas gifts to clients and suppliers.

OGA WINNER SPOTLIGHT

In Mubarak Idoko's village in Nigeria, there was no electricity and no schools. Today, the Dartmouth College senior is deeply aware of the contrasts between his educational experiences in the U.S. and those of Nigerian students, who have little access to the kinds of technology that made education possible during the pandemic and in other adverse circumstances. So Mubarak and some friends set to work on designing a management platform to give Nigerian schools a mobile infrastructure with SMS integration to manage the learning process in and out of school via a texting app. Mubarak hopes his design will advance technology “to make the learning experience more accessible and engaging.”

Christmas Comic Relief

 

How Many Crimes Is Santa Guilty of Committing?

In the 1947 holiday classic Miracle on 34th Street, Kriss Kringle gets hauled before a judge to determine whether he is insane or, in fact, the real Santa Claus. But have you ever wondered how many crimes and other offenses Santa would be guilty of if he were indeed everything he’s cracked up to be? Let’s build the prosecution’s actual case against Kriss Kringle …

‘The Devil’s Guide’ to the Holidays

In his irreverent 1911 masterpiece The Devil’s Dictionary, American writer Ambrose Bierce took aim at all manner of human hypocrisies, sins and shortcomings by penning a lexicon of cynical word definitions for a cynical age. In this holiday installment of The Devil’s Guide, we channel Bierce’s sardonic spirit to spread some more realistic seasonal cheer.

That Time a Jewish Woman Went Caroling

Christmas caroling could be fun — right? But then comes a fashion dilemma: What do you wear to a Christmas caroling party? And what do you do when everyone else is adorned in Christmas sweaters — colorful woolen garments that seem straight out of Christmas cards and stock photos of idealized American families? And then what do you do when the actual singing breaks out?

NOW STREAMING FROM OZY STUDIO

 

Have you had a funny or cringey holiday experience? Tell us your story.

OZY is a diverse, global and forward-looking media and entertainment company focused on “the New and the Next.” OZY creates space for fresh perspectives, and offers new takes on everything from news and culture to technology, business, learning and entertainment.

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