As Ava and I noted earlier tonight "Media: Week four of the Epstein-Chump scandal begins," this is week four of Chumpstein -- the bros. We published it when we did because we're not rewriting it. We work on our Sunday piece and have it done. And then it becomes, "Well, we're close to done with some other stuff" so we wait until Sunday night, things aren't done, it's now Monday and we have to update because of things in the news cycle. And we do. And if we're lucky it publishes Monday night. If not, it publishes Tuesday which means we have to rewrite again. I don't have that kind of time. I'm sorry. Ava and I asked, "Is there anything else ready right now?" No. So we published our piece.
And the Chump and Esptein story is not going away. That's obvious. Hopefully, you caught John Oliver's new episode tonight of LAST WEEK TONIGHT (HBO). Clip's not posted yet. But here's the opening -- rush transcript, any errors are mine.
John Oliver: We're going to focus on developments concerning Jeffrey Epstien, once again voted Horniest Resident by DEEPEST CIRCLE OF HELL QUARTERLY. Very basically, three weeks ago, ago after repeatedly promising to release information on Epstein the Trump Administration then promptly announced "no further disclosure would be appropriate or warranted" and released a video claiming to disprove there was any foul play in his suicide. But when a reporter pointed out a problem with that video, Trump's answer wasn't great.
CNN live footage of White House cabinet meeting camera focused on Attorney General Pam Bondi, Secretary of State Marco Rubio seated next to her and Donald Chump seated next to Marco.
Reporter: Can you say why there is a minute missing from the jail house tape on the night of his death?
Pam Bondi: Yeah. Sure --
Donald Chump: Could I just say --
Pam Bondi: Sure
Donald Chump: Are you still talking about Jeffrey Epstein? That is unbelievable. Do you want to waste the time on -- do you feel like answering?
Pam Bondi: I don't - I don't mind answering.
Donald Chump: I mean, I can't believe you're asking a question on Epstein at a time like this when we're having some of the greatest success -- and also tragedy with what happened in Texas.
John Oliver: Okay. Nothing about that is reassuring -- from Chump suspicioualy scrambling to try to change the subject to Marco Rubio quietly mourning the loss of his last shred of integrity which -- much like part of Epstein's prison video -- seems to have disappeared. That glib dismissal, understandably, didn't go down well especially given that Trump and his inner circle had been actively stoking this story in February conservative influencers were summed to the White House and handed binders labeled Epstein Files Phase One which turned out to contain virtually no new material -- this despite the covers containing the phrase "The Most Transparent Administration In History" -- a claim which is not aging great. And Trump has been struggling to move past this as new revelations keep coming out -- including a WALL STREET JOURNAL report about a gross letter Trump allegedly wrote for a book for Jeffrey Epstein's 50th birthday.
INSIDE EDITION journalist: THE JOURNAL describes the letter as "several lines of typewritten text" and the hand drawn "outline of a naked woman" "The future president's signature is a squiggly 'Donald' below her waist." Trump allegedly signed off with the words "A pal is a wonderful thing. Happy Birthday and may every day be another wonderful secret."
John Oliver: Okay. There is a lot there. First, "may every day be another wonderful secret" is absolutely what would be inside a Hallmark card if they had a subcategory called "BIRTHDAY FOR PROLIFIC SEX TRAFFICKERS." Second, the squiggly "Donald" below her waist was, in THE JOURNAL's words, "mimicking pubic hair" which is obviously gross but also -- and I know this isn't the point -- why the f**k is this Trump's signature? Donald Trump has eleven letters, not four hundred 'M's. His signature looks less like pubes and more like the polygraph result when he's asked if he's ever been friends with Jeffrey Epstein. Now, I have to tell you, Chump sued THE JOURNAL for defamation and strongly denied writing that letter which is understandable given it allegedly contains the line "We have certain things in common, Jeffrey." He also tried to brush it off by claiming "I don't draw pictures." The problem is people very quickly pointed out, he very much does do that. He basically spent this week desperately trying to draw people's attention anywhere else. He threatened the Washington Commanders stadium deal unless they revert to their old name. He posted an inexplicable three minute highlight reel of old internet clips like a woman grabbing a snake with her bare hands and various jet ski tricks and accused Obama of treason for trying to steal the 2016 election. And in case it wasn't obvious, that was a flagrant attempt to deflect attention from the Epstein story, Trump basically admitted it.
CBS MORNINGS clip of Chump speaking.
CBS journalist: At the White House, the president urged fellow Republicans to help change the subject.
Donald Chump: Every time they give you a question that's not appropriate, just say, "Oh, by the way, Obama cheated on the election."
John Oliver: Yeah. It's that easy and if they keep asking, just say, "Hillary shot JFK, Rosie O'Donnell did 9/11 and Nancy Pelosi f**ked a bat and that's how we got COVID. And no further questions." And while distraction is usually one of Chump's greatest secret weapons it doesn't appear to be working here. Even his sudden dumping of thousands of files related to MLK's assassination didn't do it. And King's daughter responded by posting this image captioned "Now, do the Epstein files" which is excellent. In terms of internet clapback that is up there with Wendy's asking is we can send Katy Perry back into space ["Can we send her back" [replying to POP CRAVE's post "Katy Perry has returned from space"]. I don't say that lightly. And so the harshest criticism is actually coming from Trump's most fervent supporters. ven the Qanon Shaman posted, "F**k this stupid piece of s**t... What a fraud..." And once you've lost dip-s**t Daniel Boone here, you are in trouble. And it's understandable why Trump's struggling to get even his own base to take his word for there is nothing to see here -- because to do so, you essentially have to believe everything we've learned about Trump over the years is irrelevant or sheer coincidence. All Trump did was repeatedly host Epstein at Mar-a-Lago, have him at his wedding, hang out with him at Victoria's Secret fashion shows, get listed as a passenger on his plane eight times, joke with him at a party while pointing out hot women and saying something into his ear that got the most grotesque smile in the history of human expressions, tell a reporter "I've known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy . . . he likes beautiful women as much as I do and many of them are on the younger side," and allegedly host "a 'calendar girl' competition" where "other than the two dozen or so women flown in to provide the entertainment . . . the only guests were him and Jeffrey Epstein." You also have to forget about Trump bragging about his ability to grab women's genitals and claiming he can "go backstage" to beauty pageants while women were getting undressed -- something he was accused of doing by five Miss Teen USA contestants, and once remarking of his own daughter Tiffany, "She's got Marla's legs. We don't know whether or not she's got this [gestures towards chest] yet but time will tell." Beyond that, though, there's nothing there. Except -- except for a jury finding him liable for sexual abuse. But other than that, there's nothing to see. And I should note that Trump denies the Epstein letter, the calendar girls contest and the claims of walking in on Miss Teen USA contestants changing. He also says he broke off ties with Epstein before he was convicted of soliciting sex from a minor and he's repeatedly denied being told his name was in the Epstein files despite reports Pam Bondi told him months ago that his name was in there. I guess, ideally, Trump would have Epstein on tape vehemently denying that connection. Fortunately, what he's got instead is this moment in Epstein's 2010 deposition.
Attorney: Have you ever socialized with Donald Trump in the presence of females under the age of 18?
Jeffrey Epstein: Though I'd like to answer that question, at least today, I'm going to have to assert my Fifth, Sixth and Fourteenth Amendment rights, sir.
John Oliver: Yeah, no great. If the answer's "no," just say taht. Instead, Epstein started listing amendments like he was ordering off the value menu. 'I'll have the number five, six, 14, 10, 12, 3 and which ever else means I don't have to break bro code.' Who knows where we go from here? On Thursday, the Deputy AG Todd Blanche -- Trump's former personal attorney -- went to talk to Ghislaine Maxwell and it's not hard to imagine someone serving a 20 year sentence that only one man can commute coming up with whatever story serves his interest. But even if that happens, I'm not sure it will stop the questions because people aren't letting this go. When DHS and the White House posted this video announcing the TSA's new shoes on policy, comments on it included "Awesome. So Cool. What about the Epstein files??" and "TSA needs to check your shoes, they might find the Epstein files there." And this White House post about Trump's AI initiatives got comments like "Where's the list donny" and "Captain Cankles...where's the list?" And look maybe those files show nothing more than that Trump and Epstein are two creeps who enjoyed one another's company. Do I personally think that's possible? Though I'd like to answer that question, I think I'll plead the fourth, twelfth and twenty-second amendments. But even if that's the case and Trump still eventually ends up consumed by a conspiracy monster he cynically helped create and now can't control? Then at least that will be a sliver of something that's frankly been in short supply in this whole Epstein story and that is actual justice
Sound like it's going away?
No. Because it's not. Jared Gans (THE HILL) notes:
President Trump is facing his most challenging political moment of his second term, with rough poll numbers and growing furor over his administration’s handling of the Jeffrey Epstein case.
Trump saw some of his lowest approval ratings of his second term over the past week, with his net approval in the Decision Desk HQ (DDHQ) average falling to more than 9 points underwater. He’s seen declines, in particular, among independents and on his handling of certain key issues like immigration.
At the same time, he’s trying to tame an ongoing headache stemming from the controversial case of the financier and convicted sex offender.
Meanwhile, Josh Marcus (INDEPENDENT) observes:
Donald Trump, who has regularly indulged in conspiracy theories alongside his supporters during his rise to power, complained on Sunday that it’s Democrats that are too focused on conspiracy theories.
Trump, whose administration is under scrutiny over its handling of Jeffrey Epstein investigations, claimed that “all they know how to do is talk and think about conspiracy theories and nonsense.”
[. . .]
Trump himself has long employed conspiracies as a candidate and then president, from becoming one of the leading proponents of the Obama birther conspiracy to playing into his supporters’ fixation with the QAnon movement.
On the 2024 campaign trail, Trump continued this trend, latching onto a baseless and racist conspiracy theory that Haitian immigrants in Ohio were eating neighborhood pets.
Now, after years of courting conspiracy theories about his opponents, the spotlight has turned on Trump over Epstein, who died in prison in 2019 while awaiting a federal trial on sex trafficking charges
The administration’s handling of materials related to Epstein investigations — disclosing an initial tranche of information that was mostly already public earlier this year, then suggesting it would not provide further releases, even as recent reporting further highlighted Trump’s longstanding relationship with the late financier — has driven a rare wedge between Trump and his base.
Poor Chump. The chickens have come home to roost and, apparently, they're doing so in that rat's nest he tries to pass off as human hair.
The following sites updated:
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Understanding Interest Rate Policy19 hours ago
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Idiot of the Week2 days ago
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Chump and other con artists2 days ago
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Radish Salad in the Kitchen2 days ago
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