Sunday, February 28, 2016

Isaiah's The World Today Just Nuts "Revenge"

revenge


Isaiah's latest THE WORLD TODAY JUST NUTS "Revenge."  A rail thin Bill Clinton explains, "People ask why did she stay?  She was just waiting until I was old and frail so she could kick the s**t out of me."  A sturdy Hillary adds, "Revenge is a dish best served on a blue dress you never take to the dry cleaners."  Isaiah archives his comics at The World Today Just Nuts.









  


Hejira

The Islamic State is on the run.  The US has pushed them back via bombings, grabbed back territories via bombings.  The plan Barack Obama had is working.

As long as you repeat those lies -- most recently repeated in a teleconferencing briefing from Iraq by the top US commander in Iraq -- we can all pretend.

And as long as we ignore reality.


XINHUA reports:

Two suicide bombers detonated themselves at the crowded popular Mreidy Market in the predominantly Shiite district of Sadr City in eastern Baghdad, killing and wounding dozens of people, according to an IS statement on the Internet, of which the authenticity could not be independently verified.
Earlier in the day, an Interior Ministry source told Xinhua that a booby-trapped motorcycle went off at the marketplace, which was followed by a suicide bomber blowing up his explosive vest at the scene.


Both attacks in Baghdad.  And one in Moqtada's neighborhood, a Shia stronghold.

How did that happen?

BBC News reports the Islamic State has already claimed credit for the bombings. Sinan Salaheddin (AP) counts 59 dead and around one hundred injured.


ALSUMARIA reports that Moqtada al-Sadr is calling for the Baghdad Brigade to defend the capital.  Ammar al-Hakim, leader of the Islamic Supreme Council of Iraq, is blaming the bombings on the security forces.  ALL IRAQ NEWS notes that the National Alliance (largest Shi'ite political body in Iraq) has condemned the bombings.  They also report Iraq's Prime Minister Haider al-Abadi visited the bombing sites and denounced the attacks.

Meanwhile the US Defense Dept announced another round of bombings:

Strikes in Iraq

Fighter aircraft conducted 12 strikes in Iraq, coordinated with and in support of Iraq’s government:

-- Near Fallujah, a strike struck an ISIL tactical unit and destroyed an ISIL staging area and two rocket rails.

-- Near Kisik, a strike destroyed three ISIL fighting positions.

-- Near Makhmur, a strike destroyed an ISIL vehicle bomb.

-- Near Mosul, five strikes struck three separate ISIL tactical units and destroyed five ISIL fighting positions and two ISIL rocket rails and suppressed an ISIL rocket position.

-- Near Qayyarah, a strike struck an ISIL financial distribution center.

-- Near Ramadi, two strikes struck two separate ISIL tactical units and destroyed an ISIL building, an ISIL fighting position and two ISIL vehicles.

-- Near Sinjar, a strike suppressed an ISIL rocket position and an ISIL heavy machine gun position.

Task force officials define a strike as one or more kinetic events that occur in roughly the same geographic location to produce a single, sometimes cumulative, effect. Therefore, officials explained, a single aircraft delivering a single weapon against a lone ISIL vehicle is one strike, but so is multiple aircraft delivering dozens of weapons against buildings, vehicles and weapon systems in a compound, for example, having the cumulative effect of making those targets harder or impossible for ISIL to use. Accordingly, officials said, they do not report the number or type of aircraft employed in a strike, the number of munitions dropped in each strike, or the number of individual munition impact points against a target.









Meanwhile ALSUMARIA reports Moqtada is calling for more corruption investigations and is specifically interested in the Minister of Water Resources and the Minister of Industry.  Mohammad Sabah (AL MADA) reports that Haider al-Abadi has announced he's working on forming a bloc in the Parliament to implement reforms.  This as objections are already being raised in Parliament.  ALSUMARIA reports MP Imad Youkhana has declared this a "political trap" and that there is objections to Haider's rush to push new people for Cabinet posistions.

Not noted in the article, Imad Youkhana is a Christian.

Haider's 'reforms' thus far have already diluted minority voices.  The 2005 Constitution created (or aspired to) a government that represented all of Iraq.  There is serious concern that further reforms or 'reforms' by Haider will strip more representation from Iraq's minorities.




I'm traveling in some vehicle
I'm sitting in some cafe
A defector from the petty wars
That shell shock love away
-- "Hejira," written by Joni Mitchell, first appears on her album of the same name




The number of US service members the Dept of Defense states died in the Iraq War is [PDF format warning] 4497 (plus 10 in Operation Inherent Resolve which includes at least 1 Iraq War fatality).


Isaiah's latest goes up after this.

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So many more TV shows to be turned into bad movies

It started with Stan's "The Rock, Zac Ephron and Goldie Hawn," specifically this section:


I like The Rock.
Dwayne Johnson's turned out to be a strong film performer.
TOOTH FAIRY is a favorite film of mine, I'm not joking.
And I love a lot of his other films.
I'm not a fan or a foe of Zac Ephron.
But the two are teaming up and my big question here is "why?"
I'm assuming they'll work well together.
But why work together on a film of BAYWATCH?
It was a piece of crap TV show.  So bad it got cancelled, remember?
And only lived on in new episodes in syndication.
What is the reason to make a film out of that?
Are they going to mock it?
Send it up?
Okay but that's still sort of lame.
I just don't get it.



It became the topic for a theme post as everyone wondered what TV show could next be a bad movie?

Ruth's "Kojack: The Movie:"

KOJACK: THE MOVIE would continue Hollywood's desire to turn really lame TV shows into films.

It would also provide Patrick Stewart with a starring role.

In the film, the plot would revolve around some French jewel thieves and drug smugglers who also build bombs on the side.

Willem Dafoe would star as the main bad guy.

Patrick Stewart's young partner would be played by Justin Timberlake.

To add a love angle, Dakota Fanning would be cast as Patrick Stewart's girlfriend.

No, no one would ever comment -- in the film -- on the vast age difference.

Three weeks after the film bombs at the box office, VARIETY will announce that they're doing a reboot and recasting the main role with Vin Diesel.





 Rebecca's "trapper john m.d:"


afraid there are no more pointless t.v. shows to turn into films?

time to go with 'trapper john m.d.'

1 of the all time boring shows.

for a plot you have some medical emergency: susan sarandon is prepared to have her tonsils taken out when trapper discovers that she also has an issue with a balloon in her belly - containing drugs from a trip to mexico where she was unknowingly used as a drug mule.

antonio banderas co-stars as the mexican drug runner determined to get the drugs back even if he has to kill susan and trapper.

trapper is played by russell crowe so he can deliver a lot of sanctimonious speeches.

kellen lutz has the gregory harrison role which means he mainly walks around in briefs or is caught in the shower.

every now and then he scrubs up for surgery.




 Mike's "BJ and the Bear:"

Afraid Hollywood's running out of bad TV shows to turn into films?

Fear not, they've still got BJ and the Bear.

Cam Gigandet poses and preens in the title role as truck driver BJ.

Tom Selleck voices the role of the Bear.

The Bear is the monkey that BJ travels with.

In the film, instead of using a real monkey, they go with an animitronic (sp?) monkey -- the way they did Scooby in the two live action films about Scooby Doo.

BJ and the Bear's special relationship on the long road trips is alluded to but not really explored until, at a truck stop, Bear wanders into the men's room and discovers Cam on all fours stuffed at both ends with a crowd of men cheering him on.

After that, the film plays like the last ten minutes of BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN but with Willie Nelson singing "On The Road Again."





Betty's "Holmes & Yo-Yo:"

As Hollywood searches for more bad TV shows to turn into hideous movies, they should next go with HOLMES & YO-YO.

In this film of the 70s TV show, an often half-dressed Channing Tatum stars as a detective who's assigned a new partner -- the robot Yo-Yo played by Jonah Hill.

Over the course of the film, Channing learns to open up emotionally and not just physically while Jonah discovers sometimes the real human is a robot.

James Cameron directs to ensure that the last 30 minutes features a lot of explosions and gun fire.




 Kat's "Supertrain:"


SUPERTRAIN was a really bad 70s TV show.

Fred Silverman was supposed to rescue in the toilet NBC.

This did not rescue the network.

But it should be the next bad TV show to be turned into a really bad film.

You could have a series of big names in minor roles as various passengers.

Anne Archer, Fred Ward, Celine Dion, etc could be the passengers with minor storylines.

Julia Roberts could play the passenger who has scientific knowledge.

That knowledge is needed when the main character responsible for the train -- Chris Pine -- learns the villain (Jon Voight) has disabled the brakes on the train and it will now crash.

Sounds like 100 other films you've already seen?

Well that pretty much describes everything released in 2015, doesn't it?




Ann's "The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo:"


The next bad TV show that should be turned into a bad movie?

Sheriff Lobo.

I see Gerard Butler as the self-infatuated and crooked Lobo.

Heather Grahm should play his love interest.

Owen Wilson could play his deputy.

But the part we're all interested in?

Who plays the Nell Carter role?

This is the show that shot Nell to fame and allowed her to star in Gimmie' A Break.

Viola Davis could get that role.

The film would be nothing but a series of bad jokes and bad car chase scenes with Owen Wilson running around naked, hands over his junk, around the 70 minute mark.




Stan's "Blansky's Beauties:"

As Hollywood increasingly runs out of TV shows to turn into films, I nominate BLANSKY'S BEAUTIES for the next one to be turned into a bad TV movie.

Glenn Close can star in the lead (played on TV by Nancy Walker).  She's over a Las Vegas all female review so Emma Stone, Anne Hathaway, etc can star.

They'll get a few musical numbers.

And Gwyneth Paltrow can show up as the stunt bike rider (Roz Kelly in the first episode of the TV show).

And maybe the movie can explore the tensions between Gwyn and Glenn's characters -- something the TV show avoided.

There's no real plot here but, you saw, STARSKY & HUTCH, these films never have much of a plot.

So this pointless 70s sitcom will be perfect to turn into a bad movie we all quickly forget. 




Elaine's "The Man From Atlantis:"

THE MAN FROM ATLANTIS is the next bad TV show that should be made into a film.

It starred Patrick Duffy as a character with super powers like Aquaman.

The reason people watched?

Half naked Patrick in every episode.

People take onscreen disrobing for granted these days but in the 70s it was still a big deal -- to see men anyway.

An episode of the Duke boys (DUKES OF HAZARD) skinny dipping, for example, was considered major water cooler talk for those who admired the male form.

Similarly when Stephany Powers guest starred on THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN and Lee Majors was shown nude with basically a wash cloth over his crotch, that was big talk for days.

So Patrick Duffy in just a swim suit in episode after episode was a show driven by viewer lust.

I see Chris Evans or Hugh Jackman in the lead role.





Marcia's "Love Sidney:"

Worst idea for a movie based on TV show?

How about Love Sidney?

Tom Cruise could star as a bachelor -- who the audience thinks is gay but who (in the 80s TV show) is never specified as gay.

He'd take in a woman and her child -- so it would be like a Jerry McGuire sequel.

The whole thing would be meaningless and, 50 minutes in, the audience would grow restless over the refusal to address Tom's character being gay or to even acknowledge it.




and Trina's "American Girls."

The 70s series American Girls was a short-lived and largely meaningless program.

Due to the rush to turn bad TV into films (The Equalizer, Baywatch), it's my nominee for next at bat.

Cameron Diaz and Viola Davis go around the country in an RV as journalists doing human interest stories when not being kidnapped and sold as sexual slaves.

On CBS in the seventies, that 'plot' was enough for Saturday nights.





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  • oh boy it never ends